So part of my new life as a recessionista (read: woman who works very hard to stay recession free), is working many jobs, one of which is modeling. This is something I picked up about a year ago and I can't deny the fact that I love it. I've done a few photo shoots and fashion shows but the other day I had my very first swimsuit photo shoot. Well, it was a catalog shoot for Fat Cat Clothing Co., a plus size clothing line in St. Louis, but we the models got to pose in an ensemble of our own choosing and I decided to go hard and do a swimsuit. I was really going for the Daisy Dukes look and I'll just say it was quite a site.
I was kinda nervous about it being that I'm also "plus size" and I've had a baby but I must admit, I'M THE SHIT BITCH!!! I was VERY proud of myself because I've been working rather hard and sacrificed so much to keep my body looking how it does and it's great to do something like pose in a swimsuit and make the photographer...let's say "uncomfortable". It makes me want to go even harder (no pun intended) at modeling but more importantly taking care of my body.
Modeling isn't necessarily "easy" but the hard work doesn't scare me at all. I don't know, I guess it's because no matter how fly I think I am there are still gonna be skeptics (read: haters) around trying to convince me that "plus size" and "fly" aren't homonyms. So along with fighting for a new level of respect for myself, I feel like I'm fighting for all plus size women. With the army that is Fat Cat Clothing Co. beside me, I have the feeling that we will not lose...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Man I Miss My Benefits
I had a "good" job for over 3 years. Acceptable pay, great hours, a few cool supervisors but best of all, I had BENEFITS!!! Yes, the blessed "b" word and they were better than Smirnoff Tuscan Lemonade. Anyways, as a result of the "recession" and "economy" my employer started laying off and firing people for any minuscule reason they could find and lil ol me was caught up in the crossfire.
Now my job WAS high stress so the loss of it wasn't exactly detrimental but damn if I don't need those benefits right now because this clinic/medicaid shit is for the birds. Don't get me wrong, I grew up poor and if it wasn't for the free vaccinations and check ups from said clinics/medicaid I wouldn't be alive and if I was I'd probably have some sort of limp leg or something. I'm thankful for the services provided now and then that were rendered at clinics around the city, but as a child, you don't notice the bad service, long as hell waits, low quality equipment and facilities, snobby attitudes from workers who probably get serviced at the same free clinic, dirty stares from other patients who look at you like you have all the STD's and kids in the world when really you just have a bladder infection.
I mean, I really didn't want to come to a clinic but my options were go there, go to the ER and get a gazillion dollar bill or die so I figured I'd go there and try to get through all that with as much ease as possible BUT THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE NIGGA would send the wrong or right person to jail without a fight. I mean everybody who visits a clinic isn't a broke, unemployed, welfare recipient, mother of 6 crack smoker, but even if they were does it mean it's okay to treat them like nothing?
I don't know if I'm upset with medicaid, free clinics or the fact that I had to go from a private doctor to a clinic but I do know that I was there too damn long and the service was horrible on top of the fact that it looked like 1986 in there. I mean, I really did think about taking up my other options but I didn't need another bill coming to house and I can't die because I have too much shit to do so somebody needs to do something because the next time I get sick, I'll cure myself before I go through this again...
Now my job WAS high stress so the loss of it wasn't exactly detrimental but damn if I don't need those benefits right now because this clinic/medicaid shit is for the birds. Don't get me wrong, I grew up poor and if it wasn't for the free vaccinations and check ups from said clinics/medicaid I wouldn't be alive and if I was I'd probably have some sort of limp leg or something. I'm thankful for the services provided now and then that were rendered at clinics around the city, but as a child, you don't notice the bad service, long as hell waits, low quality equipment and facilities, snobby attitudes from workers who probably get serviced at the same free clinic, dirty stares from other patients who look at you like you have all the STD's and kids in the world when really you just have a bladder infection.
I mean, I really didn't want to come to a clinic but my options were go there, go to the ER and get a gazillion dollar bill or die so I figured I'd go there and try to get through all that with as much ease as possible BUT THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE NIGGA would send the wrong or right person to jail without a fight. I mean everybody who visits a clinic isn't a broke, unemployed, welfare recipient, mother of 6 crack smoker, but even if they were does it mean it's okay to treat them like nothing?
I don't know if I'm upset with medicaid, free clinics or the fact that I had to go from a private doctor to a clinic but I do know that I was there too damn long and the service was horrible on top of the fact that it looked like 1986 in there. I mean, I really did think about taking up my other options but I didn't need another bill coming to house and I can't die because I have too much shit to do so somebody needs to do something because the next time I get sick, I'll cure myself before I go through this again...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I'm Just Saying...
In today's world, economy and social scene, the word "recession" sends tremors of worry through the hearts of many. Images of permanent layoffs, burning banks and homeless people with cardboard signs sends panic out and prayers up as the world tries to prevent New Jack City: 2010.
While most try to stay above water with a frown on their face, I do it willingly. Moving with a sense of passion and more determination than bull in my zodiac sign, I willingly do what it takes to mare sure things like dinnerless nights or a house with no lights will ever have an impact on my son, recession or not. This recession will not hinder me, him or anybody close to me from doing anything they want to do as long as I have a say in the matter.
So, if this means that it normally took me working 2 jobs to keep things moving and now I need 3, I'll just have 3 jobs. If this means that I used to get 7-9 hours of sleep and now I have to make do out of 3-6, then I'll do that. In the words of somebody, "I will not lose." And I won't feel worried, stressed, depressed or recessed (I don't think recessed is a word but y'all know what I mean and that's all that matters).
And I'm not talking about trying to maintain basic living necessities, I need to maintain my FLY SEXY GLAM. I mean, I'm also a plus size model so recession or not my son and I have to hold down a respectable amount of fly and there will never be an excuse good enough for either of us to fall off. Anyways, I'm starting to venture off into something extra like I tend to do but my point is this:
Anybody who can maintain taking care of herself, a more bad than good family, an all new an improved extended family, work at 3-6 jobs per day, smile at the haters, be cordial to creepy stalkers and 12,000 other things all with a smile on her face (well, maybe not a smile but I haven't assaulted anybody) deserves to be respected and I'll take that with money and power as well.
This is my story. A mother/daughter/sister/aunt/friend/model/writer/healthcare worker/waitress etc and what I have to do to make it in this recession. It's not always easy. It's not always glamourous even though I may make it look that way. But it's all me and what I have to do and even if you don't like me, can't stand me, think my weave too long or my ass is too big you will respect my recession...
While most try to stay above water with a frown on their face, I do it willingly. Moving with a sense of passion and more determination than bull in my zodiac sign, I willingly do what it takes to mare sure things like dinnerless nights or a house with no lights will ever have an impact on my son, recession or not. This recession will not hinder me, him or anybody close to me from doing anything they want to do as long as I have a say in the matter.
So, if this means that it normally took me working 2 jobs to keep things moving and now I need 3, I'll just have 3 jobs. If this means that I used to get 7-9 hours of sleep and now I have to make do out of 3-6, then I'll do that. In the words of somebody, "I will not lose." And I won't feel worried, stressed, depressed or recessed (I don't think recessed is a word but y'all know what I mean and that's all that matters).
And I'm not talking about trying to maintain basic living necessities, I need to maintain my FLY SEXY GLAM. I mean, I'm also a plus size model so recession or not my son and I have to hold down a respectable amount of fly and there will never be an excuse good enough for either of us to fall off. Anyways, I'm starting to venture off into something extra like I tend to do but my point is this:
Anybody who can maintain taking care of herself, a more bad than good family, an all new an improved extended family, work at 3-6 jobs per day, smile at the haters, be cordial to creepy stalkers and 12,000 other things all with a smile on her face (well, maybe not a smile but I haven't assaulted anybody) deserves to be respected and I'll take that with money and power as well.
This is my story. A mother/daughter/sister/aunt/friend/model/writer/healthcare worker/waitress etc and what I have to do to make it in this recession. It's not always easy. It's not always glamourous even though I may make it look that way. But it's all me and what I have to do and even if you don't like me, can't stand me, think my weave too long or my ass is too big you will respect my recession...
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